Allnighter

sky pummels roof

downpouring

light conversation

flickering against windows

bright with illumination

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Naked

Once upon a time

in one of my here and now’s

I kissed a magical kiss

it started me awake

into my next dream

it burst open a part of me

once upon another time

i kissed that kiss again

panic bubbling

realizations flooding me

that I had made so many mistakes

so i ran

I broke

shattered

but I had felt my wings

once upon the last time

it started with a kiss

then another and

another

each better than the last

curtains pushed back

from undisclosed windows

exposing myself

to myself

I discovered things that I had always wanted

but had learned to believe were not real

i see this imperfect being

I SEE him

sometimes, he SEES me too

i fell

twirling into the sky

I want to be a better me

I want to watch him become a better him

I want his skin

his laughter

the frustrated sighs

I want to explore life with him

I want to create our family

I do not want to share myself with anyone else

but i have been pushed away

once upon a now

the life i have embraced feels

more like home than ever before

i do not know how thngs will turn out

but

i appreciate the moments

the blissful joy

of the opportunity to feel any of this

at all

Down

i am always astounded

to find the walls I didn’t remember erecting

i have broken so many of them

down

then it was bindings

wrapped in straight jackets

straps and chains oh my

carefully navigated

down

to bare skin

only thinking that it was naked

not knowing there was more to expose

down

to the core

flesh unzipping

bones gently encasing

my soft delicate self

fingers slipping through the slit

feeling air

longing to slip into this new life

Mother’s Hands

I used to stare at my mom’s hands

wishing my fingers were so long

that i could see the tendons dancing beneath

veins visible and soft

I stare at my own hands now

they look like her’s

and mine

they have brushed off dirt

rubbed love into shoulders

found countless lost things

fed hope and knowledge

i have my own mother’s hands

today

they long to be held

to caress

dance the tattoo of love

forĀ a family of my own