Autodidact

cored with exhaustion

sliding gently down

learning to rest amongst the doubts

uncertainty is surprisingly interesting

wrangle the numbers

come in line

find the repetition that makes sense

preparation lingers

with the knowledge that

what comes is what comes

the fight is quiet

silent small battles

won with patience

victory throws up hands

flashing teeth in a glorious woohoo

revels reveal themselves as steps

and you realize again

how much you enjoy stairs

 

 

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I Hear You

a story sits

ripples through time

front to back

back to front

all the up and downs

the journey

it is worth it

in the end

in the then

in the now

the harrowing has happened

will happen

is happening

it is pain and knowledge

hurt leading to joy

anguish that heals anguish

eden is the womb

the expulsion is the gift of life

and here we are

esoteric beings

telling stories

for ourselves

to ourselves

of ourselves

Five Years Today

heartsick

ungainfully employed

days spent in darkness

surrounded by boxes

languishing

each year a little different

a little better

heart whole

employed in interests

spending time seeking

growing still

 

 

This not terribly good poem is my attempt to encapsulate the changes in the last 5 years.  It is my wordpress anniversary today. It started with a picture of red berries and pale grey concrete and a haiku like little poem.  Since then I have traveled more, moved to a different state, started backpacking (when I can), working at a place I can believe in, started college (Finally!), with a trip to Thailand in my near future.  I have friends new and old, a pet gecko, a lovely home, a new phone number and a better understanding of the world and what I think about it.  I try and read your posts everyday, iI succeed pretty frequently.  Thank you all for being a part of my life’s journey.  I can say it would not have been a good without you.  The pieces I read inspire me, open my mind, make me feel and think.  So thanks for a wonderful 5 years!

Desperate Dreaming

at the start

i saw the bitterness

and wondered

unknowing

then into the past

i ran

somehow splitting

and found a place

safe

gentle folks

the man who chased

who hated

who loathed

knew them too

he came to them

looking for me

hunting the difference

they hid me

they offered him a place

in their kindness

giving him a tool

to fuel his hate

i tasted his bitterness

strong on my tongue

i knew then

how he had come to be

why he existed in that loathsome state

i did not pity

i did not hate

i saw

i understood

i hoped

now i could change the trajectory

adjust the future

of our shared existence

knowing he may never love us

but maybe

he could forgive

the kindness that killed him

and take no more offence

at the existence

of otherness