So I Wrote…

I hate depression

how it surrounds and suffocates

I can be gentle with it

in everybody

except one

That one make me angry

protective and hostile

like it is a personal attack

I want to defend that one

rip the depression out

stomp on it

discard it

end it

I know very well that is not how it works

How to resolve anger

at something so insubstantial?

How to be gentle, even with this?




numb is an interesting thing

it’s neutrality pointed

if it were the tiniest bit warmer, a little bit fluffier

it would be contentment

if it were just this side of cold, a gram heavier

it could be meloncholy


it is insufferably bland

and I just don’t care


i am always astounded

to find the walls I didn’t remember erecting

i have broken so many of them


then it was bindings

wrapped in straight jackets

straps and chains oh my

carefully navigated


to bare skin

only thinking that it was naked

not knowing there was more to expose


to the core

flesh unzipping

bones gently encasing

my soft delicate self

fingers slipping through the slit

feeling air

longing to slip into this new life