old habits

tasted again

sour in the mouth

no comfort

 

 

no expectations

offered truth

ache dances with numb fingers

honesty found

 

new year

rough start

revelations itching to the surface

beginnings

 

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i have been spoiled by the couch

occupying it, cat like

picking the spot that doesn’t give quite enough room

to it’s other inhabitants

I have been spoiled by the tv

wide and bright and full of sounds and dancing colors

I have been spoiled by the dynamics

of another person

taking up space like air, filling the nooks and dust motes

with awareness if not sound

I have been spoiled with love

leaking it through every pore

weeping into laughter

I have been spoiled with loneliness

the flattening ache

so bluntly unfamiliar to me

where it used to hunt me and haunt me

through crowds of friends

I have been spoiled by my own decisiveness

so used to my mind eyeing my heart

tempering it and flying forward

ignoring nerves

I sit now, lonely

isolated in my single chair

ghostly before the light of my computers screen

the silence filled only with my own breathe

unsure how to proceed.

Wallowing in what used to be me,

missing myself as I am now.

Time for Tea

vanilla and lemon

coaxed into the air

filling my space

with the scents of home

whirring cream creates

excessive berry stained frosting

purple and bright

entire cakes

made to fit in the palms of giants

tiny delicious victories

confirming

confronting

a life lived, loved and revelled in

revealing warmth in thought

hope, faith and patience

sing harmonies

that sometimes

baker’s hear

Letting Go of Intensity

I am the fire

I am the raging sea

but really all I want

is to sit calmly drinking tea.

 

I am the warrior

I am the Goddess

but really all I need

is a life quiet and modest.

 

I am the poet

I am the muse

but really what I crave

is a way to solve problems presented in the news.

 

Calm your fears, open your ears, sing of love, strike a balance.