Silent Mornings

for so long

if I turned inward

at all

i felt the ache

the comfort of it’s constancy

sometimes

reflexively

i reach for it

repeating the words in my head

that helped me survive

that helped me break

they are hollow now

ringing false and empty

this morning I  embrace

dour skies littered with crows

small smiles

sleepy breathing

earl grey, hot

the seagull, crow and squirrel on the balcony right now

sore shoulders and wet hair

dreams resound in echoes now

they make me nervous

exciting thrills of possibility

of stepping up

hope